dimanche 9 mars 2014

My Shopping Pet Peeves

I have a love/hate relationship with shopping. I enjoy browsing, chatting with the sales assistants (especially those at Lush, they are the best!) but I'm terrible at deciding, and sometimes, just sometimes, I get so pissed off I storm out of the store even if there are things I want/need on sale.

So, in the hopes of entertaining you, here's a little list of my shopping pet peeves.

#1 Dressing Rooms

I have a theory that, before a store is open, someone casts a magical spell on the dressing rooms. Either they make the mirrors super-flattering, so it convinces you that this shirt is TOTALLY you, and not showing off an obscene amount of cleavage, or they do the reverse, and make you totally hate yourself for not having better abs. Either that, or the negative energy of so many stressed shoppers manifests itself in a noxious fume that stops you from liking yourself.

Whatever the reason, more often than not, I get into a dressing room with an armful of clothes and either buy something totally inappropriate, or ditch something I realize would have been perfect for me. (Reason #600 why I need to shop with girlfriends.) 

#2 Weekend crowds

Shopping is best done on Wednesday, and I've no idea how I'll pull it off when I get into full time employment. One must hope to build tolerance, or to do all one's shopping online, because there is nothing more frustrating than getting into a store, trying to browse and enjoy yourself, and getting mauled by a gaggle of tweens swatching every. Last. One. of the Maybelline Colour Tattoos. (Bitch, please, that's my job!) 

Or, even better, as you stand in line for the dressing rooms, to have one of said tweens mistake you for staff. (Way to make me feel my age, kids. I guess I was in the wrong store after all.)

And since we're on the subject.

#3 Skinny jeans

Sore spot for me, but I have a problem with my circulation where one of my legs is bigger than the other. That in itself makes shopping for jeans a nightmare for me, but it's even worse when 90-95 % of the jeans displayed in store are of the skinny kind. Or the super-skinny kind. Or the ankle hugger kind. Any variation or combination of the word "slim" makes me immediately burst a blood vessel, and that's even before we get to the size selections. 

And before you trip over yourselves to recommend jeggings to me, I will have you know, I do have a pair, and they are lovely. I like their look as much as the next person, and they're a dream to wear with boots. But I can't switch my entire wardrobe to them, and sometimes I like the old bootcuts. 

Fashion designers, women are more than one body type. I beg you, please, give us something to work with!

#4 Offers

Nothing wrong with those in themselves, except they make me waste money I don't have. As you do. 

I think the best policy in these cases (like 3 for 2 at Boots) is to pick things that are in a similar price range (since the cheapest is always the one off,) to make the most of it. Sadly, with a huge crowd bearing down on you, there is only so much you can do to help yourself.

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